Today - I worked in Logan's classroom. He was actually perfect for the almost 2 hours that I was in the class. We were preparing for their Thanksgiving Feast that they are having tomorrow. I ran a craft table where the kids designed their own little Indian vests... It was TOO CUTE! When we were finishing up the cleaning the kiddos were sent to lunch. After I finished helping clean up the room, I decided to go down to check on my little guy because that is where he has the most problems with self-control.
When I got to the lunch room Logan was seated at a table by himself. I asked him if he had gotten into trouble and he said no. I asked why he was sitting alone and he said "They make me sit by myself every day mom." This was concerning to me. I went out to recess and just observed him and helped him play nice instead of the dinosaurs eating each other that he was trying to play (dinosaurs = growling, biting, scratching, chasing...all of the negative things he shouldn't be doing). He got involved in a game of tag and other than accidentally tagging a little girl too hard and making her fall down, he did really well.
The more I thought about him sitting by himself, the more sad and frustrated I got. When recess was over I walked Logan back inside and pulled the teacher aside and explained what I witnessed in the lunch room. I asked why Logan wasn't getting a chance to try sitting with his friends first, before getting put by himself. She said she didn't really know and that she would speak with the principal. I then asked her if she honestly thought that was okay to have him sit alone without having the chance to sit with his friends, especially on a good day. She just shook her head like "i don't know." I then told her that last week when this happened Logan came home hysterical that he had to sit alone with no warning what-so-ever. He was really upset by this. She then said that she couldn't believe that because Logan didn't mention being upset to her, and she was even with him in car line that day, and he wasn't upset at all. Grrrrr! Logan doesn't turn the tears on and off at his own will - my girls can - but he just can't do that. I told her that if this was going to continue to be an issue that I would just take him home for lunch and recess, give him and the lunch monitors a break, then slowly ease him back into things. She said absolutely not - that "all he wants is relaxed time with mom." Does this make sense?!
So as I sit here and type this I am soooooo frustrated and wish more than anything I could have just pulled him and taken him home. I am frustrated beyond belief that they don't UNDERSTAND my Logan. I try so hard and so patiently to explain how Logan's brain works - how Logan reacts to things - all things that are not typical 6 year old boy behavior/thought processes...but it doesn't matter how many different ways I try to explain it - it just doesn't click with them. I have spent every waking moment with few exceptions with Logan for the last 6 years and to come to this roadblock is blowing my mind. I am at a loss of what to do except wait for the meeting we have planned.
Please pray that I can keep my composure and speak in ways that they can understand. I don't want them to think I hate them...because I don't. I like them all as people, I am just having a hard time with their "ways." I don't want them to not want me as a volunteer all because we disagree on how things should go with Logan. I want to help them - I want them to understand how my little man works - what works best for him, how to redirect him, how to give him positive reinforcement, etc. I want nothing more than to be on the same page and work together as a team to benefit Logan and Logan's education.
Please - if you feel that I am being overly picky or ridiculous - let me know! If you have suggestions, feel free to share! I want nothing more than to see the big picture and feel confident in the decisions that I am making.