The Back To School Blur!

So you are probably wondering "What's New?"

This Summer went by FAST. We took a trip to Mexico without the kiddos (gasp!) and I survived! It was a fabulous time away and a much needed break from daily life. I enjoyed the sun, sand, a few cocktails, and the peace and quiet. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids to death, but it was so nice to be able to make last minute decisions like what to eat, waking up and deciding to head into Cozumel, Playa Del Carmen, going to the little Mexican bars, walking on the beach, swimming without having to count 3 heads over and over...you get the drift! ;)  Being able to do all of these things without planning ahead was just peaceful and liberating!

We are on our 3rd full week of school. It has gone much better this year than last. A *huge* plus is that we got a new female principal who is awesome! This makes the anxiety level drop a little bit. She has been very, very supportive and understanding. She even makes recommendations that I agree with and we just "click." She has given input at the meetings, stood up when we have had a concern to the "others", and even is so in tune that she will pull me aside and say "What's bugging you?"

My biggest complaint was that the meetings seem so rushed...and that we skip around the IEP like crazy. No rhyme or reason...only because so and so needs to leave at this time so this has to be covered, lets look at this, lets go back to this part, etc. I need things to be organized and go in order...if they don't I just can't take it! Mrs. P (for principal) let me express all of this and she even cried with me because she is going through the exact same thing with her own son in another school district, and although she is a "big wig", she has no clout in another district, she is simply a mom trying to advocate for her son. She get's it and understands. We laugh, joke, and cry...and it's just fabulous to have this after the disaster of last year.

Logan gets more time with aides in the classroom, they have been trained in his specific area of disability (Autism/Asperger's/PDD-NOS), and they have worked so well with him thus far. I am very thankful for this!

Mrs. P even invited me to a "child specific training" where all of the aides, spec ed teacher, gen ed teacher, autism consultant, school psychologist (VtheB), counselor, and principal were present. The special education teacher went through and explained all of Logan's accommodation's and her experiences with Logan. Afterwards, I was given the opportunity to present a Power Point that I had made specific to Logan. I called it "Learning Logan." It was a presentation that included how I believe he best learns, what his strengths are, how things he does can be interpreted, etc. It was a joyous day to be able to share all of the things I wanted them to know so badly...and I was praised by the whole entire team (except for VtheB) for what an exceptional job I did presenting and how informative it was. I even took a second to stand up and pat myself on the back - Okay, NOT REALLY, but it would have been funny! ;)

We have another meeting next week to correct some things in the IEP - which shouldn't be an issue - because the principal is completely backing us on the things we have concerns with. Can you believe it? It seems like a dream!

The things that are coming up: Psych appoint next week to discuss some new things: Logan has developed some "tics." These are rapid blinking, shoulder shrugging, and this trembling/shaking thing...all involuntary. We also have an appointment with the pediatric neurologist in Oct. This is to hopefully find out about his muscle weakness/pain that continues to get progressively worse... The geneticist is very concerned about it...and to be honest, so am I.

My "End of the Year Resolutions" are as follows:

1.) Blog more - it not only relieves my stress, but keeps those that do care informed.
2.) Get back to the gym... (I did run a mile today and thought I might die)
3.) Connect with other moms that are facing the same challenges we are

Hope you all have a great week!

Autumn

(p.s. not spell checking or re-reading this...you will have to just forgive any mistakes :)

 

"The Meeting"

 What was supposed to be a 45 min meeting turned into a 2 hour meeting. Our behavior meeting turned into starting the "official" steps towards the IEP evaluation. The tension was high, and so was my anxiety. We held our own and were advocates for our special boy. It was challenging, it was emotional, it was exhausting!

I will start by saying that I am the non-confrontational personality, Neil on the other hand has a strong personality and will tell it like it is. We really do balance each other out. The longer our relationship grows, the more we can just read each other without speaking a word. It's amazing to have such a relationship. Going into this we had our little "pep talk" about how this is our job, we are Logan's voice, and that this is his future. A strong educational foundation is a must to advance. Establishing a working relationship with the school is also a must.

The meeting started out completely crappy. The first things spoken were that they feel Logan is trying to "gain attention and escape non-preferred tasks." It was like this: He "wants" one-on-one attention, he will hide in the bathroom if he doesn't want to do the task at hand, he has a hard time staying in his seat, and he has an "attention span of less than 3 mins." Neil and I both disagreed stating that the behaviors were caused by the Aspergers, not Logan intentionally trying to tick them off or trying to manipulate the situation. We expressed our concerns that Logan is being misunderstood.

It was awful - the psychometrist argued Logan's diagnosis with us for AT LEAST 5 mins. I finally told her that we provided the recent diagnosis IN WRITING on Dec 11, 2012. We did that specifically so that she could be prepared for this meeting and it wouldn't be a surprise. She kept holding his OLD papers and shaking them saying "RIGHT HERE IT SAYS IMPULSE CONTROL AND ADHD - ASPERGERS IS NOWHERE LISTED." "You're right lady, we just dreamed up a label to slap on our son" is what I felt like saying. We tried giving her our copy to look at to no avail. Just as I was zoning out and daydreaming of getting up and banging my head repeatedly against the concrete wall - she happened to find them. No apology, of course! She was on a serious power trip and even the other staff looked embarrassed by her mannerisms. It was quite the headache.

We did let the school know that we had contacted an attorney as instructed by Logan's psychiatrist. She feels that we have been fighting a losing battle and that it is time to stop the nonsense and get the show on the road. She said usually if you even mention getting an attorney they will quit messing around, however, we really did contact one because we are fed up.

We have another meeting this coming Wednesday to start the IEP evaluation process. I am not even sure what this is going to consist of...but I am sure it's more paperwork!

After the meeting the principal did personally call my husband and apologize for all of the miscommunication (think it was because of the attorney?). He could tell we were upset. He asked Neil what it would take to fix this. Neil told him all we are asking for is help for our son and that we (including Logan's pediatrician and psychiatrist) feel that an IEP is going to be necessary to help Logan become a successful student and be protected. Neil also expressed our frustration with the school psychometrist. It seems as though every time we tried to express our opinion she would try to quickly cut us off and change the subject. The principal did apologize for her behavior and said that we would soon be dealing with the main psychologist (not psychometrist) and she has a son with Asperger's/Autism Spectrum Disorder. It will be nice if when we are past the struggle to get him services.

I must say it feels good to stand up for what I believe in. Before this journey there is no way I could have voiced my opinion to 8 other people that might not have agreed with me. Gradually I am becoming stronger and it feels fabulous. We are Logan's voice, we are his advocates, and we only want the best for him. We know how smart he is and what he is capable of. It is time that we work to teach him the way he learns vs. teaching the traditional black and white method. Our job is to find what works for him and build upon that.

I think that is it for now - even just thinking about the meeting exhausts me! Ha!

Thank you all for being our support, we couldn't do it without all of the love and prayers. Xoxo.

Autumn
 

Tragedy

I know some of you may try avoiding the news, however, I just can't. I don't like hearing all of the negative things that are going on in our city/state/country, but I want to be aware. This past Friday - December 14 - Newtown, CT witnessed a horrific tragedy. Not only did the events that took place impact Newtown, CT, it also affected our entire nation.

I went back and forth on whether or not I really wanted to share these feelings on my blog...I am a very private person when it comes to political views and quite honestly I hate debating. I do not have a "type A" personality. I have never had the confidence to broadcast my views... The main thing I wanted to share with you is how this sad news has weighed on my heart.

As most of you know Logan was diagnosed with Aspergers & Pervasive Developmental Disorder on Tuesday the 11th. Not even 3 days after I heard this incident on the news. I watched as it unraveled. I couldn't take my eyes off of the television. The innocent children being shuffled across the screen with hands on each others shoulders, the teachers maintaining their composure in such a horrific event, and the officers swarming the building school. A school for Pete's sake! A place where our kids should be safe. Then after a while I heard mental illness was probably to blame. "Obviously" I thought. Not too much longer after that... I heard it. I heard the words that  just 3 days prior to this event were attached to my precious child. Aspergers.

Do I know if that is really what this kid had? No. I don't. The thought of it though makes me sick. Not sick as in it's a bad thing for my Logan, but sick that the news would broadcast it that way and put such a negative stigma with Asperger's. The news screwed up so many details. They just kept releasing things far too early - so the gunman wasn't really Ryan, it was Adam. His dad was dead...and then he wasn't. So many speculations were made. The speculation that he has Asperger's made me extremely bitter.The unfortunate thing is if I ever have to tell a stranger my son has Asperger's (and they have never been exposed to such a thing) - they are going to automatically think "Oh, that's what the Sandy Hook Killer had." That just breaks my heart to think someone someday may think that about my precious child like that.

 After reeling over the news I didn't want to even think that my Logan could possibly have something in common with this man. It really sent chills down my spine. My mom even called me and said "Did you hear what the shooter had?!" I was bitter. She meant not a single thing, but my heart was grieving and far too emotional. I wasn't mad at her, I really wasn't. It's just that everyone heard it and everyone had received the news just 3 days prior that Logan was diagnosed. It was all still too new. My heart was sore.

Neil and I talked yesterday. It was the first time we had opened up with each other since the diagnosis and the shooting. We discussed that his parent's could be us, what could have been done differently, the poor families that are dealing with this, how Adam Lanza's dad and brother must feel, and then we discussed how we would deal with our sweet boy long term.

I honestly feel bad for Adam Lanza. My heart not only breaks for all of the victims and the families, but it breaks for him too. You may not agree and I am okay with that. It just saddens me that he had no one whom he felt he could relate to or talk to. All of those emotions had to have caused his switch to flip (in my opinion). The thought of him being so angry and going to the extreme of killing innocent people just tears me apart. The thought of someone being so mentally ill that they are capable of such destruction is scary. So many questions that will never be answered.

If you could do me a favor and just stand up for Autism/Aspergers/Pervasive Developmental Disorder. If someone makes a comment about that guy having this disorder please explain to them that no two cases of Autism are exactly alike. There are so many successful people who have lived their entire lives with an Autism Spectrum Disorder. Here are some that you will know: Abraham Lincoln, Albert Einstein, Alexander Graham Bell, Benjamin Franklin, Emily Dickinson, George Washington, Marilyn Monroe, Isaac Newton, Mark Twain, Thomas Edison, Vincent Van Gogh, Mozart, Alfred Hitchcock, Andy Warhol, Bill Gates, Al Gore, and Robin Williams are just some of the many people! Very successful and memorable individuals. I hope this gives you hope for Logan, because it sure does make me feel a little better.