The Back To School Blur!

So you are probably wondering "What's New?"

This Summer went by FAST. We took a trip to Mexico without the kiddos (gasp!) and I survived! It was a fabulous time away and a much needed break from daily life. I enjoyed the sun, sand, a few cocktails, and the peace and quiet. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids to death, but it was so nice to be able to make last minute decisions like what to eat, waking up and deciding to head into Cozumel, Playa Del Carmen, going to the little Mexican bars, walking on the beach, swimming without having to count 3 heads over and over...you get the drift! ;)  Being able to do all of these things without planning ahead was just peaceful and liberating!

We are on our 3rd full week of school. It has gone much better this year than last. A *huge* plus is that we got a new female principal who is awesome! This makes the anxiety level drop a little bit. She has been very, very supportive and understanding. She even makes recommendations that I agree with and we just "click." She has given input at the meetings, stood up when we have had a concern to the "others", and even is so in tune that she will pull me aside and say "What's bugging you?"

My biggest complaint was that the meetings seem so rushed...and that we skip around the IEP like crazy. No rhyme or reason...only because so and so needs to leave at this time so this has to be covered, lets look at this, lets go back to this part, etc. I need things to be organized and go in order...if they don't I just can't take it! Mrs. P (for principal) let me express all of this and she even cried with me because she is going through the exact same thing with her own son in another school district, and although she is a "big wig", she has no clout in another district, she is simply a mom trying to advocate for her son. She get's it and understands. We laugh, joke, and cry...and it's just fabulous to have this after the disaster of last year.

Logan gets more time with aides in the classroom, they have been trained in his specific area of disability (Autism/Asperger's/PDD-NOS), and they have worked so well with him thus far. I am very thankful for this!

Mrs. P even invited me to a "child specific training" where all of the aides, spec ed teacher, gen ed teacher, autism consultant, school psychologist (VtheB), counselor, and principal were present. The special education teacher went through and explained all of Logan's accommodation's and her experiences with Logan. Afterwards, I was given the opportunity to present a Power Point that I had made specific to Logan. I called it "Learning Logan." It was a presentation that included how I believe he best learns, what his strengths are, how things he does can be interpreted, etc. It was a joyous day to be able to share all of the things I wanted them to know so badly...and I was praised by the whole entire team (except for VtheB) for what an exceptional job I did presenting and how informative it was. I even took a second to stand up and pat myself on the back - Okay, NOT REALLY, but it would have been funny! ;)

We have another meeting next week to correct some things in the IEP - which shouldn't be an issue - because the principal is completely backing us on the things we have concerns with. Can you believe it? It seems like a dream!

The things that are coming up: Psych appoint next week to discuss some new things: Logan has developed some "tics." These are rapid blinking, shoulder shrugging, and this trembling/shaking thing...all involuntary. We also have an appointment with the pediatric neurologist in Oct. This is to hopefully find out about his muscle weakness/pain that continues to get progressively worse... The geneticist is very concerned about it...and to be honest, so am I.

My "End of the Year Resolutions" are as follows:

1.) Blog more - it not only relieves my stress, but keeps those that do care informed.
2.) Get back to the gym... (I did run a mile today and thought I might die)
3.) Connect with other moms that are facing the same challenges we are

Hope you all have a great week!

Autumn

(p.s. not spell checking or re-reading this...you will have to just forgive any mistakes :)

 

Understanding, Acceptance, and LOVE

I haven't updated in a LONG time. This Summer has kept us busy - specifically me - with the therapy appointments, family nights, full-time job of keeping the house in working order, and doctors appointments... All of the things that go with being a stay at home mom / special needs mom.

In December 2012 Logan was diagnosed with Asperger's. You can read about it here. Last school year was a complete headache. Phone calls from the teacher every single night, visits to the principal (who we could write an entire book on), it was nearly impossible to get the services he needed, but we prodded on and we got the IEP. We were super excited, only to learn his IEP was pretty much a skeleton. It had zero accommodation's, mainly behavioral, but nothing to *help* him. They shot down our diagnosis and said he didn't qualify for services pertaining to his Asperger's because the testing that they had done didn't show that he "educationally" qualified under that dx.

Over this Summer we decided to have the formal ADOS testing - this is a specific testing for Autism. It was a 4 hour long battery of tests for Logan while being observed by a clinical psychiatrist specifically trained in autism. We also had to fill out questionnaires. The tests included an IQ test, evaluating speech, reading, writing, fine motor, gross motor, monitoring mannerisms associated with autism, computer testing, etc. It was in depth. It is the "gold standard" for diagnosing. They will NOT give you a diagnosis of autism unless all evidence gathered through this testing is conclusive. To be honest after leaving the day of testing I wasn't sure that he would receive the diagnosis. I knew it in my heart, but that day he was having a "perfect" day...and a small part of me thought maybe, just maybe, they would tell me that the initial diagnosis was wrong...that he was just a neurotypical child and I was crazy.

Yesterday, we were given the clinical 100% sure diagnosis of Autism. After meeting with the neuro psychiatrist we were informed of so many things we had never known. We learned his IQ. We learned that the testing the school had done was extremely elevated - that in the speech eval, OT eval, and his kindergarten teachers evals that he was in the "handicapped range." The neuro kept saying - "I just don't understand why they didn't diagnose him." "It seems like they had an agenda." "All numbers gathered and evaluations done pointed to autism at that time." He went over everything and confirmed what we had suspected and had been given a diagnosis of a year and a half ago. Now with all testing, done it became clinically concrete.

Logan will now qualify for a yearly grant to cover ABA therapy - which our private insurance doesn't cover. We will have this evidence to take to school to show them we followed through with what they recommended and got a second opinion - from a doctor that they respect - and hopefully this will change the way some things are handled.

Of course, I have already gone through the "grieving" process of accepting that I have a child with special needs, but it still is hard to take it in. It is once again confirmed. It just makes me want to be the best advocate I can possibly be for Logan. I never want to fail him. I will do everything humanly possible to make sure his education is top notch and he is treated fairly. I will be his voice. My job is to help them get to know Logan as I know Logan. The Logan they "knew" was a child that disrupted class, got out of his seat without permission, couldn't keep his hands to himself, upset the teacher, upset other kids, and had temper tantrums. The child that they were constantly telling to "go sit," "stop interrupting," and "I already gave you the instruction's." I am going to be the mom that provides them with the education and understanding - I will explain through my words, with books, and articles what sensory seeking, over stimulation, meltdowns, and distractions really are. I want them to be fully aware of what a child with autism goes through and how their brains work. Maybe, just maybe, if they take it to heart and really listen...they will fall in love. That is my hope. That is my goal: Understanding, Acceptance, and LOVE.

Autumn

Shenanigans!

With all that has been going on, I have kind of neglected the blogging world. Some things I just didn't feel like sharing - I didn't want you guys to see how grouchy all of the stress with Logan's school caused me. I was not a happy person and to be honest, I probably couldn't have typed an entire sentence with out at least one curse word. :)

I will try to give you a run down in a "nut shell."

We disagreed with the consequences that were given to Logan at school. He hit a child at recess because the child had told Logan he was going to play with him...and then didn't. Not okay to hit for any reason - I agree. However, he was given an entire week of eating alone and missing recess - he had to walk the perimeter for all to see. I went to kindly discuss my concerns with the principal in hopes he would lessen the severity of the consequences and he flat out said no. I then asked him if this was any other child, neurotypical or not, would they have gotten the same consequence. That must have hit a nerve because he totally lost his cool. It pretty much got ugly on both of our parts - he wanted to bet his house and salary that Logan doesn't have autism because he can talk and make eye contact (yes, this is literally how ignorant this man is), said that Logan is a liar, and will grow up to be a criminal. Even typing these words - in a shortened version - makes me sad and oh so grouchy! Logan has never lied - except for when he was asked if he hit the child - and he said no - and was then asked to tell the truth - and Logan admitted. This guy is scary and intimidating - I know Logan was too scared to tell him right off the bat that he hit. However, he told the truth after his initial reaction (which I think most children would have denied considering the overall meanness of this man).

We took it to the Special Ed Director and the Assistant Superintendent...along with an advocate...that is known for being the BEST in Fort Wayne. They refer to her as the "Pitbull with Lipstick." She did an awesome job of advocating for us and the best interest of Logan.

We have another meeting tomorrow. Redoing the IEP - to include specifics - and to fix all of the things that weren't done properly in the first place. It will probably be long and stressful, but well worth it.

On another note Logan has been having ongoing issues with his muscles - and having pain in his legs, arms, neck, etc. We spent Saturday evening in the ER to have some x-rays done. His spine looks good! No unusual curvatures or anything like that. Tomorrow we have an appointment with an orthopedic specialist to see if he can't find the underlying cause. :)

Today we got Logan's genetic results back - I was so flippin nervous because she and her assistant both came in to the results meeting. We did find out that Logan has a deletion of the HLA-DRB1 gene (one of those gene things in your body that make up who you are). She informed us that there is an association with autism spectrum disorder. I will most definitely be taking that to our meeting with the school just to show them that we have some more concrete evidence....not like it will matter to these crazy "professionals" anyhow, but make me feel better! Ha!

Needless to say, I have been driving myself crazy with researching things to include in Logan's IEP. I don't want to leave anything out!

The countdown to Mexico is on! Can't wait! I will definitely be enjoying a cocktail (or three) on the beach, listening to the waves, and pretending I don't have a worry in the world...even though you KNOW I will be missing my babies like crazy, wondering what they're doing, if they are sleeping well, and missing me (ha!).

Hope you guys had a great Memorial Day weekend! Thanks for stopping by and catching up on our crazy life!

Much Love,
Autumn :)

My "100th" Blog with Big News!

I find it hard to believe I have written 100 blogs about my sweet boy! When I started this blog I would never have guessed we would be where we are today, but I love that I can look back and see how far we've come and all of the events that have taken place since I started!

I am pleased to inform you all that Logan was approved for an IEP!!! This is HUGE!!! This is what we have been trying for since the beginning of the school year and after many, many, many meetings and teacher phone calls. I have to give TONS of credit to the special education teacher as she was on Logan's side from the beginning, but we had to have the administrators, school psychometrist, psychologist, etc on board as well...and had to get all of the people on the same page. After those lovely people (who don't know/work with Logan) were able to observe and assess him themselves (and with mention we had been in contact with a lawyer), they seemed to change their tune.

Logan's 504 was put into place at the end of November of 2012. His behavior intervention plan was set. This included using visual prompts, a ticket reward for recognition of good behavior, and getting to pick a prize/positive note with school counselor twice a day (before lunch and at the end of the day) if he remained on green or yellow. While discussing our results of the observations - the school counselor was asked by the school psychometrist how the system had been working and the school counselor shocked us! Her answer was that they had tried it for a couple of weeks and didn't notice it helping him at all and she didn't really "have time" to do this on a daily basis. I think every.single.person in the meetings jaw dropped a little, and ours dropped a lot! I saw the school psychometrist write on her pad of paper "meet with counselor after meeting." The special education teacher also told her that she disagreed with that due to the fact that you cannot change behavior in a matter of two weeks. They were NOT happy with her!!! So not only was his reward system followed for just 2 weeks, she and Logan's teacher never informed any of us that this happened and never set up an alternative positive reinforcement. That made me super GROUCHY! In the "notes" after the meeting where literally everything is documented that is discussed - she conveniently left out that ENTIRE discussion. I kindly spoke up and asked that she add in the notes that she failed to comply with the behavioral support plan that we had all agreed upon. What a crock! Hence the reason we NEVER wanted the 504 to begin with because it is just recommendations. The 504 doesn't have to be followed by law. I am sure she was in quite the awkward position and got in some trouble after the meeting....as she should have!!!

After that nonsense we were told that they had found Logan eligible for services and an IEP would be put into place. We continued on and set up the IEP. The accommodations that will be provided are as follows:

• A timer (to help Logan stay focused on the task and to visually see he is making progress)
• Visual Aides (the special ed teacher will take pictures of Logan and insert them into a program called "boardmaker." This will allow Logan to visually see what comes "next". There will be a series of pictures with Logan reading, writing, doing gym, music, computer, etc. and after each of these things he will flip the card over and know what activity comes next.)
• An iPod with soothing music and headphones for his independent work time
• Small group testing to provide frequent feedback and to keep Logan on task without distractions
• Logan will be in close proximity to an adult during transitions and carpool
• STAR technique will be used to help Logan when he is getting anxious/upset "Stop, Take a deep breath, And Relax"
• "Body Awareness" prompts will be given "find your quiet place" (this technique is used when he is sensory seeking, hyper, etc. Logan places his hands on his belly, closes his eyes, and takes deep breaths allowing him to tune into his body and physically feel himself relax. His PT taught us this and it has worked AWESOME!).
• We will be notified by email or phone anytime Logan has an incident that requires him to go to the office.
• An assistant will be provided daily for the 90 min reading block, 40 min math block, and recess.

I am very happy with what was put into the IEP. Even though it has taken SO LONG, I am thankful that we have finally gotten to this point. They also recommended that we go ahead with the Full Autism Evaluation - because after working with Logan they feel this is appropriate. We have wanted that, but needed the IEP more, so that came secondary. It will be completed within 50 school days - which means it might not happen until next school year. I am okay with this because he is still getting his help through a private OT, PT, and SLP. We are also going back to his neuropsych that we saw a few years ago to get his take on things.

I hope/pray this makes a difference in his schooling - he deserves the BEST!!! :) Thank you for catching up on our latest journey!

Autumn

Life Happens :)

Hope you all had a Happy Easter! Thanks for stopping by and catching up. Life has been super busy - so I haven't gotten to update in over a month!

Our last meeting with the school went okay - We learned that they didn't feel Logan qualified for an educational diagnosis of Autism to receive services. We are still going forth with the IEP in hopes to at least get him OHI...even though you would think a medical diagnosis should be MORE than enough. So frustrating! I did speak with the special ed teacher and she did whisper to us that she is sure he will qualify. Just LOVE that almost his entire Kindergarten year is over with and he is SO far behind. Boo!

Logan was a super-duper-trooper with his nasal surgery last week. We learned that the recovery process would take about 3-4 weeks and were a little concerned. To our surprise he went back to surgery without tears and came out of surgery the same way! The nurses and doctor couldn't even believe it! He never experienced any pain. He never once cried or complained. I discussed this with the Dr and this is probably due to Logan's pain receptors being under active, which we already knew he experiences. With the sensory processing disorder he actually likes the feel of pain - unlike the rest of us.

This week is Spring Break! We were excited to take the kiddos to the Children's Museum on Monday, however after about 15 mins, he had a meltdown and we had to leave. It was super crowded and he was extremely overstimulated. I discussed this with his OT today and she actually volunteered to go with us next time. We have been extremely blessed with awesome therapists who love Logan just as much as we do!

He is doing extra sensory-seeking this week - that has been the only real challenge lately. Lots of jumping, crashing, falling, clapping, slapping, snapping, etc. Loves the feeling of the pressure and gets quite carried away. The high pitched squealing and yelling has increased. I am sure this is all due to change in routine between his surgery and being on Spring Break. We are trying to keep things as even keel as possible for him. 

We are taking it easy for the time being - Logan's sister Hailey has been sick off and on since Friday. We thought she was over it after the weekend, only for her to get sick again last night and this morning.

I am happy to announce that Logan is starting to take showers - HUGE accomplishment! We only have about a 5-10 minute discussion now versus a 45 minute meltdown. I'll take it! :) He is also doing well with the kinesio taping. Toe walking is still there, but decreasing.

I think that is it for now!

Autumn


 

"The Meeting"

 What was supposed to be a 45 min meeting turned into a 2 hour meeting. Our behavior meeting turned into starting the "official" steps towards the IEP evaluation. The tension was high, and so was my anxiety. We held our own and were advocates for our special boy. It was challenging, it was emotional, it was exhausting!

I will start by saying that I am the non-confrontational personality, Neil on the other hand has a strong personality and will tell it like it is. We really do balance each other out. The longer our relationship grows, the more we can just read each other without speaking a word. It's amazing to have such a relationship. Going into this we had our little "pep talk" about how this is our job, we are Logan's voice, and that this is his future. A strong educational foundation is a must to advance. Establishing a working relationship with the school is also a must.

The meeting started out completely crappy. The first things spoken were that they feel Logan is trying to "gain attention and escape non-preferred tasks." It was like this: He "wants" one-on-one attention, he will hide in the bathroom if he doesn't want to do the task at hand, he has a hard time staying in his seat, and he has an "attention span of less than 3 mins." Neil and I both disagreed stating that the behaviors were caused by the Aspergers, not Logan intentionally trying to tick them off or trying to manipulate the situation. We expressed our concerns that Logan is being misunderstood.

It was awful - the psychometrist argued Logan's diagnosis with us for AT LEAST 5 mins. I finally told her that we provided the recent diagnosis IN WRITING on Dec 11, 2012. We did that specifically so that she could be prepared for this meeting and it wouldn't be a surprise. She kept holding his OLD papers and shaking them saying "RIGHT HERE IT SAYS IMPULSE CONTROL AND ADHD - ASPERGERS IS NOWHERE LISTED." "You're right lady, we just dreamed up a label to slap on our son" is what I felt like saying. We tried giving her our copy to look at to no avail. Just as I was zoning out and daydreaming of getting up and banging my head repeatedly against the concrete wall - she happened to find them. No apology, of course! She was on a serious power trip and even the other staff looked embarrassed by her mannerisms. It was quite the headache.

We did let the school know that we had contacted an attorney as instructed by Logan's psychiatrist. She feels that we have been fighting a losing battle and that it is time to stop the nonsense and get the show on the road. She said usually if you even mention getting an attorney they will quit messing around, however, we really did contact one because we are fed up.

We have another meeting this coming Wednesday to start the IEP evaluation process. I am not even sure what this is going to consist of...but I am sure it's more paperwork!

After the meeting the principal did personally call my husband and apologize for all of the miscommunication (think it was because of the attorney?). He could tell we were upset. He asked Neil what it would take to fix this. Neil told him all we are asking for is help for our son and that we (including Logan's pediatrician and psychiatrist) feel that an IEP is going to be necessary to help Logan become a successful student and be protected. Neil also expressed our frustration with the school psychometrist. It seems as though every time we tried to express our opinion she would try to quickly cut us off and change the subject. The principal did apologize for her behavior and said that we would soon be dealing with the main psychologist (not psychometrist) and she has a son with Asperger's/Autism Spectrum Disorder. It will be nice if when we are past the struggle to get him services.

I must say it feels good to stand up for what I believe in. Before this journey there is no way I could have voiced my opinion to 8 other people that might not have agreed with me. Gradually I am becoming stronger and it feels fabulous. We are Logan's voice, we are his advocates, and we only want the best for him. We know how smart he is and what he is capable of. It is time that we work to teach him the way he learns vs. teaching the traditional black and white method. Our job is to find what works for him and build upon that.

I think that is it for now - even just thinking about the meeting exhausts me! Ha!

Thank you all for being our support, we couldn't do it without all of the love and prayers. Xoxo.

Autumn
 

Our Meeting (and afterwards)...

I know, I know,  I am a little late getting around to filling you all in on the meeting we had last Wednesday. Boy oh boy has it been completely crazy! I finally have a moment to blog because unfortunately I have two sickly (or kind of sickly) kiddos that are napping. Guess it's that time of the year - and being 65 degrees in December probably isn't helping with the germs. :)

We walked into the meeting with the request in writing for a special education assessment and a functional behavior assesment. That was quickly shot down because they didn't feel that he needed the special education assessment and asked if we would hold off on that request if they agreed to do the functional behavior assessment. I looked to Logan's advocate to see if this was okay or not, because I honestly STILL don't understand all the lingo associated with the assessments, 504's, BIP's, IEP's, etc. I did hand them the request for the IEP for Logan and they said they want to try the 504 first. I don't really know - I just agreed. It was going to be a fight (even with the dr's note to get them to even consider the IEP) and I just don't want to fight. I want everyone to get along, to be a team, and to work towards what is best for my Logan. They will be assessing Logan over the next few weeks in the classroom and in the unstructured settings such as gym and recess. We also agreed that instead of sending home Logan's negative daily report that it either gets e-mailed or we get a phone call. No more of him dreading to show us these negative papers every single day. We left the meeting and I had no feeling at all. It wasn't an exciting feeling like I got lots accomplished, but it wasn't a complete failing feeling either. It was kind of like - I hope this works?!

Wednesday I received a phone call from his teacher stating he left the lunchroom and no one knew where he went. They looked all over and his class had to head out to recess without him. They finally found him in the bathroom and when the lunch lady confronted him he got very irritable. He had to pee extremely bad and said he couldn't hold it. They told him that was unexcusable, and that he has to ask an adult to use the restroom. He just didn't understand why that was such a big deal. When his teacher came in and asked him to take a time out for it - he flat out told her "NO". She asked a second time and he laid on the floor and said "NO" again. She then had the principal come and get him. They discussed why it is important not to leave the lunchroom.

Thursday he was again sent to the office for "choking" another child. Logan's story is that B was upset because Logan wouldn't quit touching him. Logan didn't want B to be mad at him so he was trying to hug him and apologize...and the teacher saw it as choking. He was then sent to the principal and had to sign a contract. READ CLOSELY: The principal wrote a contract stating "I, Logan, will never touch another child again." and then he had to sign his name on it. What a silly contract - a child with IMPULSE CONTROL DISORDER - signing something that states that he will never touch another child. Geez...It is almost comical. I still believe that Logan did not choke the other boy and that everything he said to me was accurate. He never wants anyone to be upset with him - so I am just positive that Logan was trying to give the child a hug even though that child didn't really want a hug. Logan really doesn't read others well. He doesn't know personal space or boundaries. 

Friday afternoon I received a phone call from the principal asking if I was close by. I quickly headed over to his office to find out what was going on. Apparently there was an incident on the playground where they were playing tag... Logan was pulling the other boys shirts and getting angry that he kept getting tagged. The playground monitor had asked Logan several times to stop and he didn't. She then tried to seperate him from the other kids and he started swinging at her and yelling "get off!" The principal took him to his office again and Logan refused to cooperate with the principal - thus me getting the phone call. I tried to calm Logan down in his office, but he was already "over his limit" and talking wasn't going to accomplish anything. The principal was just getting more frustrated by watching Logan pull his own hair and cover his ears and growl. He said "We aren't getting anywhere with this, I think you need to take him home." When I asked him to put his coat on to leave he threw himself on the floor and refused. The principal then threatened that if he didn't leave with me (I was in my sling so I couldn't just scoop up my 60 lb boy) that instant he would call the police and have him escorted out. I was devastated and completely embarrassed because we weren't the only ones in the office. We had a few children, office ladies, and a parent as an audience. Ugh. I brought him home, talked a little bit to him, and then explained that he really needed to take a nap and rest (which he did w/out any issues).

I am just praying that last week was just a bad week and that we can move forward w/out being sent to the principal everyday and/or getting sent home. That was awful! We have a meeting with Dr. B this Friday and I am going to discuss this with her and see what she recommends. I am really at a loss of what to do.

Here is a sweet picture of my sleepy head:

 

 

Hope you all have a great week. If you have any suggestions, please feel free to share! This parenting thing is a TOUGH job! :)