Irony

In the past 8 months (at least) we have avoided going to church - left our church - and have been searching for a church that fits us. This has been a major internal struggle. Don't get me wrong - we LOVED our church home - that we had attended for 9 years - but as time went on - Logan was born, he grew, became a challenging child, and was much harder to control. Church became a challenge. Our "home" church didn't offer children's church - and nursery was only for kiddos 5 and under. Logan turned 6...and we attempted to take him in to the sanctuary with us. There were many Sundays we had to carry him out screaming, crying, and it was quite embarrassing. It wasn't comfortable for him or us. It felt that we were looked down upon because not everyone knew Logan's story, or how he handles certain things, etc. His tantrums, meltdowns, and outbursts were distracting to those around us and made it hard for us to hear the sermon - so all in all, we weren't really getting what we needed.

Today - for the first time - we tried yet another "new" church. Where the ironic part comes in, is that a certain person whom I have disliked since school started (she is on the IEP/Case Conference Committee, did the evaluations that I strongly disagree with, we have butted heads, we snapped at each other in the last meeting, etc.) was the one who was working the children's church check-in station. I am sure when I looked up and my brain registered who she was - the look on my face was priceless. Why would God put me in these case conferences with this lady...and THEN put me FACE-TO-FACE with her OUTSIDE of school!!! He is a humorous God, that I do know. He loves to challenge my comfort zone, my ability to be forgiving, my ability to be kind and humble. He knows his plan...and I am just along for the ride. Oh what a ride this is! :)

Something we did learn is that they have children's church, the people that run the 1st grade class will be there through the Summer (consistency is KEY with Logan), the teacher was a previous first grade teacher and her husband  is her assistant (having a male figure is a plus)...and it just seemed to "click." Logan was happy, well behaved, and the teacher just seemed to understand him and what worked for him.

The other SUPER-DUPER cool thing is that they have a ministry that is designed for children with special needs, and if Logan were to get too comfortable or overwhelmed, the program actually designates an adult buddy for him - and will attend all church services with him - and build a relationship with him and has training in understanding the special needs realm.

The sermon spoke directly to my heart. Sounds completely mushy - but it was all about children. It discussed our goals for our children, what we may "want" for our children, what God wants for our children, how we should teach our children to their learning ability vs. expecting all children to learn the same way, etc. One of the things the pastor mentioned is that children don't come with manuals - manuals are geared to a certain make and model - and there are far too many "makes and models." I cried most of the sermon. I am not great at replicating the message - but it was awesome. God knew exactly what I needed to hear.

However, tomorrow I have a meeting with this lady that I have had my differences with, to view her raw data of the testing she completed for Logan and to discuss the parts that I disagree with. Go figure! Funny how things work! :/

This next week will be full of challenges for us - the data meeting, the second half of our case conference (the WORST part where we go over the FBA,BIP, IEP, etc.), therapy appointments, and trying to wrap things up for vacation.

Thanks for stopping by and checking in! Hope you all have a great week. :)
Autumn

Shenanigans!

With all that has been going on, I have kind of neglected the blogging world. Some things I just didn't feel like sharing - I didn't want you guys to see how grouchy all of the stress with Logan's school caused me. I was not a happy person and to be honest, I probably couldn't have typed an entire sentence with out at least one curse word. :)

I will try to give you a run down in a "nut shell."

We disagreed with the consequences that were given to Logan at school. He hit a child at recess because the child had told Logan he was going to play with him...and then didn't. Not okay to hit for any reason - I agree. However, he was given an entire week of eating alone and missing recess - he had to walk the perimeter for all to see. I went to kindly discuss my concerns with the principal in hopes he would lessen the severity of the consequences and he flat out said no. I then asked him if this was any other child, neurotypical or not, would they have gotten the same consequence. That must have hit a nerve because he totally lost his cool. It pretty much got ugly on both of our parts - he wanted to bet his house and salary that Logan doesn't have autism because he can talk and make eye contact (yes, this is literally how ignorant this man is), said that Logan is a liar, and will grow up to be a criminal. Even typing these words - in a shortened version - makes me sad and oh so grouchy! Logan has never lied - except for when he was asked if he hit the child - and he said no - and was then asked to tell the truth - and Logan admitted. This guy is scary and intimidating - I know Logan was too scared to tell him right off the bat that he hit. However, he told the truth after his initial reaction (which I think most children would have denied considering the overall meanness of this man).

We took it to the Special Ed Director and the Assistant Superintendent...along with an advocate...that is known for being the BEST in Fort Wayne. They refer to her as the "Pitbull with Lipstick." She did an awesome job of advocating for us and the best interest of Logan.

We have another meeting tomorrow. Redoing the IEP - to include specifics - and to fix all of the things that weren't done properly in the first place. It will probably be long and stressful, but well worth it.

On another note Logan has been having ongoing issues with his muscles - and having pain in his legs, arms, neck, etc. We spent Saturday evening in the ER to have some x-rays done. His spine looks good! No unusual curvatures or anything like that. Tomorrow we have an appointment with an orthopedic specialist to see if he can't find the underlying cause. :)

Today we got Logan's genetic results back - I was so flippin nervous because she and her assistant both came in to the results meeting. We did find out that Logan has a deletion of the HLA-DRB1 gene (one of those gene things in your body that make up who you are). She informed us that there is an association with autism spectrum disorder. I will most definitely be taking that to our meeting with the school just to show them that we have some more concrete evidence....not like it will matter to these crazy "professionals" anyhow, but make me feel better! Ha!

Needless to say, I have been driving myself crazy with researching things to include in Logan's IEP. I don't want to leave anything out!

The countdown to Mexico is on! Can't wait! I will definitely be enjoying a cocktail (or three) on the beach, listening to the waves, and pretending I don't have a worry in the world...even though you KNOW I will be missing my babies like crazy, wondering what they're doing, if they are sleeping well, and missing me (ha!).

Hope you guys had a great Memorial Day weekend! Thanks for stopping by and catching up on our crazy life!

Much Love,
Autumn :)

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day! I am celebrating the amazing gifts God has blessed me with; My sweet girl Emily, my outgoing Hailey Grace, and my love-bug Logan! Each with their own personalities, interests, and passions. If I had been able to pick the perfect child - before I had children - I don't know what qualities I would have chosen. However, I am sure that God gave me just what I needed! They are all three so different, yet so amazing! I don't know that I deserve a day just for me - yet a day to celebrate the joys these sweet children have given me. I am lucky, undeserving, and so, so, so thankful these sweethearts call me "Mommy!"

 

 

 





I am also thankful for my own mom and mother-in-law! I have been blessed with two amazing, beautiful, supportive, encouraging, and loving women! :)

 

Wishing all of my mommy followers and amazing day filled with LOTS of love, hugs, and happiness! Cherish the moments!

Love, Autumn! 

My "100th" Blog with Big News!

I find it hard to believe I have written 100 blogs about my sweet boy! When I started this blog I would never have guessed we would be where we are today, but I love that I can look back and see how far we've come and all of the events that have taken place since I started!

I am pleased to inform you all that Logan was approved for an IEP!!! This is HUGE!!! This is what we have been trying for since the beginning of the school year and after many, many, many meetings and teacher phone calls. I have to give TONS of credit to the special education teacher as she was on Logan's side from the beginning, but we had to have the administrators, school psychometrist, psychologist, etc on board as well...and had to get all of the people on the same page. After those lovely people (who don't know/work with Logan) were able to observe and assess him themselves (and with mention we had been in contact with a lawyer), they seemed to change their tune.

Logan's 504 was put into place at the end of November of 2012. His behavior intervention plan was set. This included using visual prompts, a ticket reward for recognition of good behavior, and getting to pick a prize/positive note with school counselor twice a day (before lunch and at the end of the day) if he remained on green or yellow. While discussing our results of the observations - the school counselor was asked by the school psychometrist how the system had been working and the school counselor shocked us! Her answer was that they had tried it for a couple of weeks and didn't notice it helping him at all and she didn't really "have time" to do this on a daily basis. I think every.single.person in the meetings jaw dropped a little, and ours dropped a lot! I saw the school psychometrist write on her pad of paper "meet with counselor after meeting." The special education teacher also told her that she disagreed with that due to the fact that you cannot change behavior in a matter of two weeks. They were NOT happy with her!!! So not only was his reward system followed for just 2 weeks, she and Logan's teacher never informed any of us that this happened and never set up an alternative positive reinforcement. That made me super GROUCHY! In the "notes" after the meeting where literally everything is documented that is discussed - she conveniently left out that ENTIRE discussion. I kindly spoke up and asked that she add in the notes that she failed to comply with the behavioral support plan that we had all agreed upon. What a crock! Hence the reason we NEVER wanted the 504 to begin with because it is just recommendations. The 504 doesn't have to be followed by law. I am sure she was in quite the awkward position and got in some trouble after the meeting....as she should have!!!

After that nonsense we were told that they had found Logan eligible for services and an IEP would be put into place. We continued on and set up the IEP. The accommodations that will be provided are as follows:

• A timer (to help Logan stay focused on the task and to visually see he is making progress)
• Visual Aides (the special ed teacher will take pictures of Logan and insert them into a program called "boardmaker." This will allow Logan to visually see what comes "next". There will be a series of pictures with Logan reading, writing, doing gym, music, computer, etc. and after each of these things he will flip the card over and know what activity comes next.)
• An iPod with soothing music and headphones for his independent work time
• Small group testing to provide frequent feedback and to keep Logan on task without distractions
• Logan will be in close proximity to an adult during transitions and carpool
• STAR technique will be used to help Logan when he is getting anxious/upset "Stop, Take a deep breath, And Relax"
• "Body Awareness" prompts will be given "find your quiet place" (this technique is used when he is sensory seeking, hyper, etc. Logan places his hands on his belly, closes his eyes, and takes deep breaths allowing him to tune into his body and physically feel himself relax. His PT taught us this and it has worked AWESOME!).
• We will be notified by email or phone anytime Logan has an incident that requires him to go to the office.
• An assistant will be provided daily for the 90 min reading block, 40 min math block, and recess.

I am very happy with what was put into the IEP. Even though it has taken SO LONG, I am thankful that we have finally gotten to this point. They also recommended that we go ahead with the Full Autism Evaluation - because after working with Logan they feel this is appropriate. We have wanted that, but needed the IEP more, so that came secondary. It will be completed within 50 school days - which means it might not happen until next school year. I am okay with this because he is still getting his help through a private OT, PT, and SLP. We are also going back to his neuropsych that we saw a few years ago to get his take on things.

I hope/pray this makes a difference in his schooling - he deserves the BEST!!! :) Thank you for catching up on our latest journey!

Autumn

Life Happens :)

Hope you all had a Happy Easter! Thanks for stopping by and catching up. Life has been super busy - so I haven't gotten to update in over a month!

Our last meeting with the school went okay - We learned that they didn't feel Logan qualified for an educational diagnosis of Autism to receive services. We are still going forth with the IEP in hopes to at least get him OHI...even though you would think a medical diagnosis should be MORE than enough. So frustrating! I did speak with the special ed teacher and she did whisper to us that she is sure he will qualify. Just LOVE that almost his entire Kindergarten year is over with and he is SO far behind. Boo!

Logan was a super-duper-trooper with his nasal surgery last week. We learned that the recovery process would take about 3-4 weeks and were a little concerned. To our surprise he went back to surgery without tears and came out of surgery the same way! The nurses and doctor couldn't even believe it! He never experienced any pain. He never once cried or complained. I discussed this with the Dr and this is probably due to Logan's pain receptors being under active, which we already knew he experiences. With the sensory processing disorder he actually likes the feel of pain - unlike the rest of us.

This week is Spring Break! We were excited to take the kiddos to the Children's Museum on Monday, however after about 15 mins, he had a meltdown and we had to leave. It was super crowded and he was extremely overstimulated. I discussed this with his OT today and she actually volunteered to go with us next time. We have been extremely blessed with awesome therapists who love Logan just as much as we do!

He is doing extra sensory-seeking this week - that has been the only real challenge lately. Lots of jumping, crashing, falling, clapping, slapping, snapping, etc. Loves the feeling of the pressure and gets quite carried away. The high pitched squealing and yelling has increased. I am sure this is all due to change in routine between his surgery and being on Spring Break. We are trying to keep things as even keel as possible for him. 

We are taking it easy for the time being - Logan's sister Hailey has been sick off and on since Friday. We thought she was over it after the weekend, only for her to get sick again last night and this morning.

I am happy to announce that Logan is starting to take showers - HUGE accomplishment! We only have about a 5-10 minute discussion now versus a 45 minute meltdown. I'll take it! :) He is also doing well with the kinesio taping. Toe walking is still there, but decreasing.

I think that is it for now!

Autumn


 

Pictures and Updates

 

Logan and his cousin.

 

Logan doing some physical therapy with the compression vest.

 

 

 A little Valentine's Day treat with Mommy.

 

 

 More physical therapy - and learning some body awareness.

 

 

 It's more fun to practice reading when you have your cousin to read to! :)

All squeaky clean after his bath! 

 

 

The last few weeks have been extremely challenging and sometimes I find myself super-duper grouchy with less patience. It's not fun. I head to bed and find myself thinking of all of the things I should have, could have done differently to avoid the meltdowns, arguments, etc. I am not perfect. It's just that roller coaster of emotions that decide to show up whenever, wherever! I have cried at least 3 times this week (and I am not a crier). I think it is just one of those moments where I wonder "why?" Not having a timeline as to when these behaviors will disappear (if ever) is stressful. I hate it that Logan has been so upset lately with little I can do to soothe him. He is now 67 pounds and to pick him up and carry him is out of the question. This is extremely difficult when we are out in public and something triggers his tantrum/meltdown. Not only is he held hostage by "the monster", I am also stuck in the grocery with a crying, screaming, sprawled out on the floor child whom I can't lift to get the heck out of there. Instead we endure the looks of those around until it passes. I wish they could just understand. I knew the day that I would no longer be able to carry him would come, but dang it, it came sooner than I expected!

 

The good thing is...we are hanging in there and taking one day at a time. "This too shall pass" is something we remind ourselves of daily.

 

Thank you for stopping by! Hope you have a fabulous weekend! The kiddos are excited that we will have Daddy home ALL weekend!

 

Autumn

 

"The Meeting"

 What was supposed to be a 45 min meeting turned into a 2 hour meeting. Our behavior meeting turned into starting the "official" steps towards the IEP evaluation. The tension was high, and so was my anxiety. We held our own and were advocates for our special boy. It was challenging, it was emotional, it was exhausting!

I will start by saying that I am the non-confrontational personality, Neil on the other hand has a strong personality and will tell it like it is. We really do balance each other out. The longer our relationship grows, the more we can just read each other without speaking a word. It's amazing to have such a relationship. Going into this we had our little "pep talk" about how this is our job, we are Logan's voice, and that this is his future. A strong educational foundation is a must to advance. Establishing a working relationship with the school is also a must.

The meeting started out completely crappy. The first things spoken were that they feel Logan is trying to "gain attention and escape non-preferred tasks." It was like this: He "wants" one-on-one attention, he will hide in the bathroom if he doesn't want to do the task at hand, he has a hard time staying in his seat, and he has an "attention span of less than 3 mins." Neil and I both disagreed stating that the behaviors were caused by the Aspergers, not Logan intentionally trying to tick them off or trying to manipulate the situation. We expressed our concerns that Logan is being misunderstood.

It was awful - the psychometrist argued Logan's diagnosis with us for AT LEAST 5 mins. I finally told her that we provided the recent diagnosis IN WRITING on Dec 11, 2012. We did that specifically so that she could be prepared for this meeting and it wouldn't be a surprise. She kept holding his OLD papers and shaking them saying "RIGHT HERE IT SAYS IMPULSE CONTROL AND ADHD - ASPERGERS IS NOWHERE LISTED." "You're right lady, we just dreamed up a label to slap on our son" is what I felt like saying. We tried giving her our copy to look at to no avail. Just as I was zoning out and daydreaming of getting up and banging my head repeatedly against the concrete wall - she happened to find them. No apology, of course! She was on a serious power trip and even the other staff looked embarrassed by her mannerisms. It was quite the headache.

We did let the school know that we had contacted an attorney as instructed by Logan's psychiatrist. She feels that we have been fighting a losing battle and that it is time to stop the nonsense and get the show on the road. She said usually if you even mention getting an attorney they will quit messing around, however, we really did contact one because we are fed up.

We have another meeting this coming Wednesday to start the IEP evaluation process. I am not even sure what this is going to consist of...but I am sure it's more paperwork!

After the meeting the principal did personally call my husband and apologize for all of the miscommunication (think it was because of the attorney?). He could tell we were upset. He asked Neil what it would take to fix this. Neil told him all we are asking for is help for our son and that we (including Logan's pediatrician and psychiatrist) feel that an IEP is going to be necessary to help Logan become a successful student and be protected. Neil also expressed our frustration with the school psychometrist. It seems as though every time we tried to express our opinion she would try to quickly cut us off and change the subject. The principal did apologize for her behavior and said that we would soon be dealing with the main psychologist (not psychometrist) and she has a son with Asperger's/Autism Spectrum Disorder. It will be nice if when we are past the struggle to get him services.

I must say it feels good to stand up for what I believe in. Before this journey there is no way I could have voiced my opinion to 8 other people that might not have agreed with me. Gradually I am becoming stronger and it feels fabulous. We are Logan's voice, we are his advocates, and we only want the best for him. We know how smart he is and what he is capable of. It is time that we work to teach him the way he learns vs. teaching the traditional black and white method. Our job is to find what works for him and build upon that.

I think that is it for now - even just thinking about the meeting exhausts me! Ha!

Thank you all for being our support, we couldn't do it without all of the love and prayers. Xoxo.

Autumn