Monday, January 17, 2011

Giving Thanks ...

As I was trying to fall asleep last night all I could think of was our appointment on Tuesday (tomorrow) with the geneticist and how overwhelmed I am. I seriously torture myself thinking of all the what-ifs. I am afraid that we may get shocking/scary results...and I am equally as afraid of the results being inconclusive. Then I wonder if we just give up or do we look into other options, second opinions, etc. I just don't know. So...after hours of thinking I came up with this:

It is in God's hands. I have to "Let Go" and "Let God." I pray for Logan and our family multiple times daily... I pray in the morning when I wake up, every time we get into the car, at naptime when I have some peace and quiet, we pray before meals, our bedtime prayers, etc...but I realized that although I pray A LOT, it doesn't really mean I have let my guard down and handed it over to Him. I am somewhat of a control freak and have a really hard time letting go of things. I do not stop worrying or harassing myself by wondering if I have made the right decisions concerning my son. I constantly think I should have done this sooner or what if I am the only one that can speak on Logan's behalf and I screw it up? It wasn't until last night that I realized that "I" can only do so much...the rest is up to God. I have put my trust in Him and rely on the plans that He has for us. He knows the bigger plan, I do not.

My goal today is to try and focus on the positives. I have three amazing children, all unique in their own ways. Each one of them have special qualities that I cherish. Emily loves God, loves to read, she is affectionate, she is a huge helper, she is independent, can adapt to anything and, is easily comforted. Hailey is cheerful, the little things in life make her happy, she loves sing and draw, remains dedicated, persistent, and is 100 % total GIRL. Logan is extremely intelligent, he loves pirates, he loves to learn about the ocean and animals, he gives AWESOME bear hugs, has a huge imagination, and loves to laugh. I have truly been blessed beyond anything I could possibly imagine.

If you could just do me an itsy-bitsy favor and say a prayer for Logan and our appointment tomorrow, I would greatly appreciate it! :)

Thanks a bunch!

P.S. If this blog post is scattered or makes no sense at all... I had like 3 hours of sleep and am exhausted! I think it is necessary that I take a nap with the kiddos today!!! :)

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